


You Can Hear It In The Silence

by filmcricket



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin Arlert Can Sing, Eren Is a Little Shit, Eventual Levi/Erwin Smith, Grunge Jean Kirstein, M/M, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Musician Armin Arlert, POV Armin Arlert, POV Jean Kirstein, Past Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Semi Hipster Armin, Tattoo Artist Jean Kirstein, The whole gang is college age
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:42:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filmcricket/pseuds/filmcricket
Summary: Jean Kirstein is an apprentice tattoo artist with a tragic past that he wishes he could forget. Armin Arlert is a music major struggling with his choices as he walks in the shadow of his friends.Their stories become intertwined when Armin comes to Jean's studio to get his first tattoo.Rated M for language, sexual content, and a bit of violence.





	1. Portrait

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking out my story! I haven't written a fanfiction in ages, I'm excited to get back into the swing of things! I hope you like the first chapter!
> 
> BE AWARE that there is a bit about a car wreck in the beginning of this. If that bothers you, I will always mention it in the notes and put that scene in italicizes so that you know when it's coming!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rough morning, Jean meets Armin.

_ His ears were ringing. A metallic, musty smell hung in the air. _

_ “What…”  _

_ To the right was mostly blurry, flashing blue and red lights illuminated broken glass hanging from a metal frame. _

_ “What’s… going on?”  _

_ He looked down at his lap, blood was splattered on his jeans and a deflated airbag draped over his knees. Slowly, he moved one hand into his vision. It was covered with blood, leaking from tiny lacerations from bits of broken glass. _

_ His mind began to work again as his gaze swept to his left, looking at the mess of the dashboard, shattered pieces of the plastic littering the console and flooring of the car.  _

_ His memories of how he got here began to return to him. He was going on a snack run with… _

_ He lifted his gaze hesitantly to look fully to his left. His eyes widened in terror as he took in the horrific sight next to him, a strangled scream escaping his lips as he tried to pull away-- _

-x-

Jean Kirstein awoke with a cry, his blankets falling around his middle as he jerked into an upright position. He took a couple of gasping breaths before putting his hand on his forehead to push his ash-brown hair out of his face, trying to compose himself. 

He wiped the sweat from his brow, twisting around to grab a water bottle off the nightstand.  He drank almost half the bottle before putting it down and flopping back into the bed. He pressed his face into his pillow, groaning. 

When would the nightmares stop? It had been almost five years since the wreck, but it felt as if it happened just yesterday. He had dreams about it at least three times a week. Some weren’t as bad, but most made him lurch upwards, screaming and sometimes crying. 

Jean sighed into his pillow, then jumped when he heard the alarm on his phone go off. He sat up quickly, grabbing it off the bedside table and looked at the screen. 

“Shit!” Jean grunted, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

It was his first day at his new job and he’d missed his first two alarms. The caption on this alarm read ‘ **WAKE UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE** ’.

He ran to the bathroom to wash up before throwing on a pair of black, ripped jeans and a grey v-neck. He chose to put on a maroon beanie instead of attempting to straighten out his messy hair. 

Jean dashed through his studio apartment, grabbing a protein bar and a fresh water bottle from his small kitchen. He stuck the bar into his back pocket so he could pull on black combat boots. He hastily took his keys off a hook by the door, slipping outside and locking the door after him.

Shiganshina Studios was the new tattoo parlor he was apprenticing through. He had been a tattooer apprentice in Florida through the first three years of his career, but Jean longed to apprentice with a big time tattoo artist so he could become a professional. After two solid years of putting his name and portfolio out there, Levi Ackerman, an amazing tattoo artist, reached out to him. Levi was gifted at freehand, but he was famous for his portraits. Jean couldn’t be happier that Levi chose him to work at Shiganshina.

He stepped out into the bustling world of New York City that he was still getting used to. It was autumn, but wasn’t too chilly so Jean decided to dash down the couple blocks to the studio instead of getting a taxi. The run would be good for him anyway, it would help him work off the fog from the nightmare.

He jogged past the many people walking to and fro on the sidewalk. It only took him about five minutes to get to the road with the studio. It was in Midtown Manhattan, within earshot of Times Square, so close to the heard of New York. 

Jean was about ten doors down from the studio when he accidentally bumped into a passerby. He hesitated only a moment, throwing an apology over his shoulder.

“Watch where you’re going, bastard!” an aggressive voice shot back.

Jean only caught a glimpse of who he’d run into, a brown haired young man with a fierce scowl. He was accompanied by two others, who were trying to stop their friend from running after him.

Jean rolled his eyes and continued. He’d said sorry, what more did the guy want? A hug? Besides, he was really going to be late if he lingered too long.

He finally arrived at the storefront tattoo shop and went inside to see Levi sitting at the front desk, drawing on a tablet. The man looked up when Jean entered and said, “You’re right on time for your first appointment. I know you got all your stuff set up yesterday, but in the future I want you to be here early, just in case the client is.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that. I… had a weird morning,” Jean grunted, feeling stupid for screwing up his first day.

“It’s okay, we aren’t super hard-ass here, you know that. Shit happens, as long as it doesn’t become a habit. You can go upstairs and get ready, I’ll call you down when your ten gets here,” Levi said, going back to working on his tablet.

Jean nodded, relieved that Levi didn’t lay into him. Being late wasn’t like him, he just needed to get his shit together. He hadn’t gone to a therapist since he left Florida, he hadn’t found one that suited him in New York. He’d only been in the city for less than three months and was waiting until he got settled to find one. Perhaps he needed to start looking now. When he wasn't regularly in sessions, he could tell there was a spike in trouble sleeping, nightmares, and mood downswings. 

Jean trudged up the stairs to the upper portion of the studio where the apprentices worked. He and another young man named Connie Springer were the only two at the time, though there was space for two more. Other than them, Levi had two other employees. Both were professionals, Zoë Hange and Eld Jinn. They were all booked for months in advance, including Connie, who had already been there for almost a year. Jean got the lovely task of building up his clientele, which meant taking a lot of the walk ins and tiny, last minute tattoos.

Jean came to the top of the steps and saw Connie had someone in the chair, working on the linework for a back piece. 

Jean didn’t want to disturb him, so he walked quietly over to his station and pulled his tablet off the charging dock to double check his schedule. 

He only had a couple tattoos scheduled for the day, the first being a smaller tattoo for someone named Armin Arlert. He flipped through the reference pictures the guy had sent him. He wanted an artistic strand of music notes on the shoulder. Simple enough. He'd already drawn some designs for him to make it more personalized.

“Hey, your ten is here, Jean,” Levi called up the steps.

Jean put the tablet down and went downstairs, his boots falling heavily on the metal stairs. He stopped at the base, seeing a familiar group of young people lingering by the front desk.

The one that Jean guessed he was tattooing was leaning over the desk, filling out paperwork, his messy, blond hair falling around his face. A girl with dark hair and eyes was talking with Levi in a way that seemed like they knew each other. The third Jean instantly recognized as the kid he had bumped into on the way to work. 

“Jean, this is Armin, he’s the one you’re tattooing today,” Levi said, gesturing to the blond with his tablet pen.

Armin looked up from his paperwork and despite being busy glowering at the punk who had called him a bastard, Jean looked at his client and had to do a double take. The kid didn't look much older than high school age, though he was listed as twenty on the schedule. His light blond hair was longer and nicely framed his very soft features. He had a small, upturned nose sprinkled with light freckles and the bluest eyes Jean had ever seen on a human before. 

Armin gave him a shy smile and held out his hand to shake. Jean tried not to be creepy and avoided deeply looking into the young man's eyes as he reached out to shake Armin’s hand, saying, “It’s good to meet you.”

“Aren’t you the jerk who bumped into me earlier?” the young man from earlier butted in suddenly.

Jean arched an eyebrow, looking at him. He didn’t like the look on this guy’s face, it was like he was looking for a fight.

“I’m sorry, man, but I didn’t bump into you on purpose,” Jean replied shortly.

The guy bared his teeth, looking ready to bark back at him, but Armin interrupted, “Eren, please. He did say he was sorry in the moment, let it go.”

“Yes, Eren, could we please not start a fight? I haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet and I really don’t want to hear your grousing this early in the morning,” Levi said flatly, throwing a deadpan look Eren’s way.

Eren huffed, turning to walk angrily towards the waiting room. The girl followed him, talking in a low voice to him once they were out of earshot.

“Forgive him, sometimes he has no sense,” Levi said, waving Eren off, “Eren Jaeger is Mikasa’s boyfriend and Mikasa is my cousin. Unfortunately, they come as a package deal.”

Jean blinked in confusion, looking over at the two before asking, “So, are they getting tattoos too, or…”

“They’re here as moral support,” Armin said, pushing the finished forms towards Levi.

Jean inwardly cringed, hopefully Eren wouldn’t be hovering the whole time he was tattooing. He could only imagine how unpleasant that would be.

“They need to stay down here, though,” Levi said absently, as if he read Jean’s mind.

“W-what?” Armin inquired, looking at Levi fearfully.

“I don’t allow anyone besides the person getting tattooed upstairs with my apprentices, it breaks their concentration. You can come down to ask for opinions on anything if you want,” Levi answered, not looking up from his tablet.

“But, Levi… come on, it’s us,” Mikasa said, walking up to her cousin.

“Sorry, company policy,” Levi shrugged.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room and Jean could sense Armin’s nervousness, it was palpable. He looked down at his client and said, “Well, are you ready to go over the drawings?”

Armin bit his lip, nodding. Jean turned to go back upstairs, followed closely by his quiet client. He led him to his side of the room, picking up the tablet.

“I made a few designs, but I can change anything you want me to if you don't like any of them,” Jean said, turning to show Armin.

Armin took the tablet and Jean pointed at the first picture, “This one is a little heavier on the bars in the background. If you swipe left, I have two other versions as well.”

Armin quietly flipped through them, stopping after a moment. He looked hard at the picture he paused on for just a moment before saying, “These are all really good, but…”

Jean felt his heart sink a little, then a flare of anger. His first client was going to be difficult, wasn’t he?

“This one is really beautiful…” Armin breathed.

Jean’s brows furrowed, leaning over to see which one Armin was looking at. It wasn’t one of his planned examples, it was just a design he had been messing around with earlier. It was a tree branch with music notes falling from the branches gracefully and being carried away in the wind.

“This isn't like my reference pictures, but it is exactly like something I'd want… is this one available?” Armin asked, looking up at Jean, eyes wide.

Jean tore his gaze away from the boy’s unbelievably blue eyes. He was pretty sure he would have given away his tablet if Armin had asked if it was his available. The young man’s stare was bewitching.

“Yeah, it’s yours if you want it,” Jean murmured, gluing his eyes to the picture on the table, “Anything you want me to change?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Armin confirmed without hesitation.

Jean felt warmth bloom in his chest at the compliment and confidence in his artwork. He smiled eagerly and said, “Okay, well, I’ll go print out a couple of sizes and we can figure out how big to make the stencil.”

“Okay,” Armin replied in a small voice.

Jean knew that reality was setting in for Armin that he was getting a tattoo. Jean remembered being similarly fearful about getting his first tattoo, but he had been determined. His first tattoo was to cover up scars from the wreck.

Only a little bit later, Jean had the stencil placed on Armin’s left shoulder blade. 

Armin was laying on his stomach on the chair as Jean got ready to start the outline.

Jean was working on setting up the tattoo machine, trying to keep his eyes off the back of his client. Jean was a upstanding employee, he never before felt tempted to look at a client's body with interest. Armin was the first person to ever make Jean blush from feeling so aware of the man's beauty. 

Armin was fairly petite for a boy, his milky skin almost unblemished aside from light freckles that trickled down his shoulders and a bit down his back. He looked like something out of a fairy tale, a pixie that you’d find in an enchanted forest. All he needed were a pair of fairy wings and a crown of flowers in his blond hair to complete the look. The tree branch with the music notes stenciled on his back just added to the forest nymph vibe. 

“I’m all set up… are you ready?” Jean said after swallowing hard, leaning over slightly to meet Armin’s gaze.

“I guess,” Armin said, laughing quietly and nervously.

“Okay, here we go,” Jean said, taking a breath before leaning in to put in the first line.


	2. Début

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some peer pressure followed by good advice, Armin meets Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the positive feedback on chapter 1! I'm happy you all are enjoying it! I have been listening to calming piano music while writing this and I feel inclined to suggest you listen to the piano piece, Début by Mélanie Laurent, it really sets the tone for this chapter and captures the spirit of this AU Armin. I'm going to try to rec a song for each chapter because I'm extremely inspiring by music and it might help you enjoy the story more!  
> I hope you all enjoy chapter 2!

“Did you send them the picture of what you wanted done yet?” Eren Jaeger asked Armin Arlert as they sat in one of the lounge areas of the college that they and Mikasa attended.

Armin was sitting across from him in a soft, red love seat, his legs drawn up in front of him with his laptop balanced there while he worked on his homework from the morning classes. He pushed his glasses up to keep them from slipping down his nose any further before responding, “It’s a fairly simple tattoo, I don’t think they need it far in advance, do they? It’s pretty much a copy and paste.”

“Levi said to send it in as soon as possible,” Mikasa said from her spot tucked under Eren’s arm while she read a book.

“They’ve already done the same one on you two, I’ll just text Levi and tell him to use that same stencil,” Armin sighed, picking up his phone.

“You don’t sound very thrilled about it,” a voice came from behind the couch where the walkway was.

Armin tilted his head back a bit to see Professor Erwin Smith looking down at him, one of his eyebrows arched.

“Oh, good morning, sir” Armin said, smiling at his favorite teacher. 

Professor Smith had been kind to Armin ever since he first enrolled. Armin was in his Music Theory I class during his first year of college, devouring the information as fast as his professor could give it out. Erwin seemed to appreciate Armin’s deep interest in theory, befriending Armin as much as he could as a professor. Erwin would always make a point of saying hello to Armin in the halls and he would always motivate his student to push himself musically. That included encouraging him to audition for the college's musical of that year, which Armin had always been too terrified to do. 

“I was just on my way to post the cast list for Newsies. I’m thrilled you auditioned this year,” Professor Smith said, smiling back kindly.

“Can I see it?” Armin asked, sitting up to reach out for the paper, but Erwin pulled it away.

“Not until it’s posted, I’m afraid. If I showed you first, that wouldn’t be fair to the other students,” Erwin replied with a smirk, then added, “Anyway, as I was saying… you’re not excited about your tattoo? Then why are you getting one?”

“Well, we all want to get matching tattoos. I’m just nervous, not unexcited,” Armin replied, turning his face back down to his laptop.

He heard a small ‘hm’ from Erwin, but before he could ask what was wrong, Eren butted in.

“I don’t think you have any right to judge him about what he decides to tattoo on his body,” Eren stated harshly.

If Erwin was irritated by Eren’s sharp statement, he didn’t show it.

“I wasn’t judging, really. I just think tattooing is a form of self expression, so I was merely surprised when I thought he wasn't excited. Though, if he’s only just nervous, I was mistaken. My apologies,” Professor Smith replied.

Armin looked back up at his professor, who was stepping away from them. He gave Armin another friendly smile, saying, “I’m going to post this, come see it as soon as you have the chance.”

“I will,” Armin said, waving his hand with a small smile on his face. 

Once Erwin was gone, Eren grunted in irritation, “What an ass.”

Armin sighed, settling back down into his spot. He stared at the screen of his computer for a moment, thinking of Erwin’s words. He hadn’t put much thought into getting something different than what his friends had gotten. They’d both gotten a small tattoo of three books in a pile to represent their time together in school. 

But if he was being honest with himself, Armin never felt that they were a trio. Instead, he felt as if Mikasa and Eren were a duo and Armin was running to catch up.  He desperately wanted to catch up with them, but they always felt two steps ahead in every way. They both went for a criminal justice major in school and it took everything in Armin not to follow in their footsteps and pursue music instead, his passion. Though, he decided to go to the same school they went to over applying to a specifically music related college. 

Armin longed to be close to them, even if they felt out of reach. He didn’t know what he was without his friends.

So, he never considered getting a different tattoo than they had gotten. He wanted to be like them, strong and confident, but he couldn’t ever seem to manage it.

Slowly, Armin reached forward and opened a new tab, typing in ‘music tattoos’ into the images search engine. He took a breath before tapping ‘enter’, diving into the hundreds of pictures of musical tattoos.

-x-

Armin nervously tugged at the sleeves of his sweater as he watched Levi walk to the base of the steps to the upper portion of the studio to call out, “Hey, your ten is here, Jean.”

Jean… Armin had been pronouncing his tattoo artist’s name incorrectly in his head this entire time. He had been pronouncing it the American way when it was the French pronunciation, like Jean Valjean from Les Mis é rables. Armin wondered if Jean was of French descent, or maybe he traveled from there to apprentice under Levi.

Armin’s wandering thoughts were interrupted when Levi put a paper on the desk in front of him and handed him a pen, “While you wait, read over this consent form and fill out the bottom when you’re done.”

Armin obeyed, leaned over the paperwork to read the bullet points carefully, not looking up even when he heard his tattoo artist clomping down the steps. He finally signed the bottom just as Levi said, “Jean, this is Armin, he’s the one you’re tattooing today.”

Armin lifted his head and saw a young man in an edgy outfit lingering at the edge of the desk next to Levi. His arms were folded, jaw lifted slightly and angular eyes narrowed, almost seeming unintentionally defiant. He carried himself in a way similar to Eren’s, but the chip on his shoulder wasn't quite as big. 

Armin hesitantly smiled, holding out his hand for Jean to shake. The tattoo artist didn’t hesitate to step closer to shake his hand.

“It’s good to meet you,” Jean said, his voice rough, as if he’d just woken up.

Armin was surprised by Jean's head as he neared him. Armin wasn’t very tall, only reaching 168 centimeters. Jean seemed to be almost a foot taller than him. He had to tilt his head back quite a bit to regard the artist.

Jean wasn’t quite what Armin pictured him as in his mind. For some reason, he hadn’t expected him to be so young, appearing to be only a little older than Armin. Jean was also fairly handsome. His features were very sharp, though longer than Levi’s similarly angular features. His hair was all but hidden under a maroon beanie, a bit of light brown hair messily hanging out over his forehead. He had an intense look in his brown eyes that grew more ferocious when Eren suddenly blurted out, “Aren’t you the jerk that bumped into me earlier?”

Armin glanced at Eren, eyes snapping back to Jean when he realized that he was right. He recognized the maroon beanie from earlier when a tall man barreled through their group before they’d come into the shop. 

Jean practically snarled at Eren as he replied, “I’m sorry, man, but I didn’t bump into you on purpose.”

That much was true. When it’d happened, Armin could tell that Jean was simply in a hurry, and he had apologized before taking off. Armin saw Eren clench his teeth, temper visibly spiking. He and the tattoo artist almost wore the same aggressive expressions. Armin knew if he didn’t defuse the situation, they were likely to get into a fist fight. 

“Eren, please. He did say he was sorry in the moment, let it go,” Armin said softly, reaching out to pull at his friend’s sleeve in an attempt to calm him.

“Yes, Eren,” Levi chimed in, “I haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet and I really don’t want to hear your grousing this early in the morning.”

Eren grumbled under his breath, stalking away towards the waiting room, Mikasa at his side. Armin watched them go and considered following to try to help Mikasa get Eren to chill out. He almost took a step towards them when he heard Jean ask, “Are they getting tattoos too, or…”

“They’re here as moral support,” Armin answered, suddenly remembering to push the completed forms across the desk back to Levi.

“They need to stay down here, though,” Levi answered after a moment, making Armin’s heart skip a beat.

“W-what?” Armin stammered, thinking of having to go through the process of getting a tattoo without having his friends by his side.

They hadn’t remembered to invite him when they’d gotten theirs done. They may have been strong enough not to have support, but he needed it.

Armin wondered if he should back out, though he would lose his deposit if he did. He barely heard Mikasa arguing with Levi about the policy about only the client and artist being upstairs. He felt his hands shaking as he began to get lost in his own head, zoning out as he thought of the pain he would have to go through without anyone there to talk to. They would be downstairs, but…

“Well,” Armin heard Jean’s gruff, yet calm voice cut through his thoughts and he lifted his eyes to look at the artist, “Are you ready to go over the drawings?”

Armin gaped at him, nodding dumbly as his body moved on it’s own. He felt light-headed as he went up the stairs after Jean, looking at the floor once they reached the top. 

Before he knew what was going on, Jean pushed a tablet into his hands and asked for him to look at the designs for the tattoo. Armin slowly reached out and started swiping the pictures, not really feeling like his mind was in the moment. 

Not until he saw a gorgeous picture of a tree branch with music notes falling from it like leaves in the fall. 

Armin blinked at it, gradually becoming more present as he murmured, “These are all really good...but this one is really beautiful.”

Armin couldn’t stop looking at design as Jean sidled next to him, looking over his shoulder to see which one he was talking about. Jean didn’t say anything at first, which made Armin worry that it was a tattoo that was designed for someone else. It didn’t look anything like the ideas that he’d sent in.

“This isn’t like my reference pictures, but it’s exactly like something I’d want… is this one available?” Armin asked, turning his head to look at Jean in question.

Jean looked away from him as soon as their eyes made contact, staring hard at the design as he muttered, “Yeah, it’s yours if you want it. Anything you want me to change?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Armin responded quickly, shaking his head for emphasis.

Armin was surprised to see a devilish grin appear on Jean’s face, “Okay, well, I’ll go print out a couple sizes and we can figure out how big to make the stencil.” 

“Okay,” Armin said as Jean disappeared and he slowly took off his sweater.

His thin body was toned fairly well from maintaining a workout routine with Mikasa, but he was still shy about taking his clothes off in front of anyone. He held his sweater balled up in front of his chest as he waited on Jean to return. A couple of moments later, the tall artist came back, focused on cutting out the examples from a sheet of paper. 

“All right, here are a few sizes, I’ll hold them up to your back so you can look at them in the mirror,” Jean said as he gestured for Armin to walk over to the mirror.

Tattoo artists saw people without clothes all the time, so Armin was fairly certain Jean wouldn’t react to him being shirtless. He was just being paranoid and bashful. Armin carefully put his sweater on a nearby chair and walked over to the mirror.

Armin turned around so that his back faced the mirror. He felt Jean’s warm hands rest against his back to hold the picture up to his left shoulder blade. Armin looked over his shoulder and instantly liked the sizing, but considered asking Jean to check the other sizes so he could have a little more time with the comforting feeling of Jean’s big hands splayed against his back. 

Armin almost physically shook his head to rid his mind of the stupid thoughts floating around. He really needed to get out of the house and go on a date, he was starting to fantasize about his tattoo artist he'd just met! 

“That looks great,” Armin said softly. 

“Perfect, I’ll make it into a stencil and we can get started,” Jean responded in determination, taking off again.

Armin noted that Jean really seemed to light up after he’d been complimented on the original design. It made Armin even happier with his choice to stray away from the tattoo he originally planned to get. He eventually would get the book tattoo, but Erwin had been right when he said that he felt as if Armin wasn’t excited about it. 

Armin wanted to look forward to his first tattoo.

-x-

“What the hell, you didn’t get our tattoo?” Eren squawked as Armin showed his friends the fresh piece before it was covered.

Armin looked at the tattoo in the mirror, absolutely enthralled with the delicate piece. It complimented his form so well, it was just beautiful to look at.

“I couldn’t help it, I fell in love with this design,” Armin said, eyes drifting away from the piece to where Jean was cleaning up his station.

“I wish you’d told us, we could have done something else today,” Eren grumbled, but Mikasa elbowed him.

“It looks great on you, Armin,” Mikasa said, smiling at him.

“Thanks,” Armin murmured, his attention quickly diverting from her as Jean approached them with the bandaging.

As the artist went to work putting the protective plastic over the tattoo, Armin watched him through the mirror. He noticed Jean chewed on the inside of his mouth when he was concentrating on something and Armin found it oddly endearing. 

“Thank you so much for this, Jean,” Armin told him earnestly, seeing Jean glance at him only to quickly avert his gaze again.

Armin could have sworn he saw a small blush tint Jean’s cheeks as he responded, “Anytime.”


	3. Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is invited to a collegiate play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your comments! This next chapter includes a part where they watch a show called Newsies. If you're curious about the scene, you can look up clips from the play on youtube to show you the talent of the dancers and singers. It was the play that instantly came to my mind when I thought what Armin would be really cute in ;)  
> I hope you all like this chapter, I really liked writing it!

Late morning rays of sun peeked through Jean’s bedroom window, slowly drawing him from sleep. He was sprawled over the bed, the blankets tangled mostly around his upper body from his restless sleeping. 

Jean reluctantly opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling until he finally made the difficult decision to sit up. He rubbed his bleary eyes and glanced at his clock. It was almost noon.

He wasn’t surprised that he slept so late, his first week at the new studio had been long and grueling. Not all appointments had been as pleasant as the first. 

For the hundredth time since that first appointment, thoughts of the timid blond returned to Jean’s mind. He regretted not asking Armin more about himself while working on him, but Jean was afraid that he would say something stupid. He could have accidentally said what he was actually thinking, that Armin looked like a goddamn angel.

Jean huffed, sick of being plagued by regret by the way he didn’t act through the session. He pushed himself out of the bed and stumbled into the bathroom before going to the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal. 

Armin was lodged in his mind, it made it nearly impossible for Jean not to think about him, even while he was eating his cereal in front of the TV. Perhaps Jean would see him again at some point since he was friends with Levi’s cousin. Maybe they came in to hang out after their classes from time to time? 

Jean scowled at the screen while  _ Friends _ played. Who was he kidding? Real life wasn’t like a sitcom. He doubted that Armin would just walk back into his life, things weren’t that convenient. He would probably have to ask Levi about him and Jean really didn’t feel like using his new employer as a matchmaker.

-x-

“What’s the play called again?” Jean inquired absently, sitting on one of the waiting room couches with his feet propped up on coffee table, tablet in his lap.

It was a unusually slow, snowy Monday, so Jean had settled down to work on a few designs that some of his clients were needing in the upcoming weeks.

“Newsies, I think. Mikasa got a bunch of extra tickets for it, she says her college puts on quality shows. I have enough for all of us to go, if you’re interested,” Levi said, standing next to him, peering at the ticket's fine print.

Jean looked up when he heard Levi mention his cousin. He recalled Armin saying they all went to the same college and he was into music, maybe he’d be there. He could possibly even be in the play.

It had been a couple months since Jean had first started at Shiganshina and he was fitting in well. His clientele was building up quickly and he was starting to book up in advance. In fact, the closer they got to Christmas, the busier the whole studio had become. 

But even with his fast paced life, Jean couldn’t seem to get Armin out of his mind. Instead of nightmares constantly, sometimes he would have a pleasant dream about the young man wearing a crown of flowers or ivy in his golden hair. He would sometimes see Armin’s shining blue eyes looking up at him, accompanied by a bright, happy smile on his face. 

Instead of always awakening feeling cold and alone, Jean would sometimes feel warm and content. 

Though he refused to ask Levi about Armin, he wasn’t about to pass up the possibility of seeing that boy again.

“Yeah, I’ll go,” Jean said nonchalantly, “It’s this Saturday?”

“Mhm. I can hold onto the tickets and we can all meet there. The play begins at seven, but Mikasa said we needed to arrive early if we wanted decent seats, so we can meet at six,” Levi replied, pulling out his phone, “I can text you the location. It’s Sina College, not too far from here.”

“Sounds good,” Jean replied, going back to idly drawing on his tablet.

He was eager for Saturday to come, ready for the week of work to be over. The snow had killed a lot of the holiday walk-ins that week and made the days go by excruciatingly slow. 

When the night of the show finally arrived, Jean put probably too much effort into getting ready. He dressed in a pair of jeans that weren't ripped and a black collared button down. He spent far too much time pushing his hair around to look like the stylish undercut it was meant to be instead its usual mess. He even considered taking out his piercings, but decided against it. He had his eyebrow, septum, tongue pierced then a variety of ear piercings, including industrial. He didn’t want it to be too obvious that he was trying to impress someone, taking out all of those piercings would alter his appearance drastically. 

Despite his efforts to tone it down, his coworkers still wolf whistled at him once he stepped up to them on the outside of the college.

“Damn, Jean, a button down without rolled up sleeves? I didn’t know we were meeting the president!” Connie teased, laughing hard.

“Very funny,” Jean grunted, waving him off, “I didn’t know how formal this was, okay?”

“It’s a college play, it’s not the opera,” Levi said flatly.

Jean tilted his head to look down at his employer, smirking to see him dressed more formal than any of them. Levi wore a white button down with a grey dress vest, form fitting black jeans and even a tie. 

“You’re one to talk,” Jean snorted, crossing his arms defiantly as they walked inside and followed the signs to the auditorium.

There weren’t very many people there, since the play wouldn’t start for an hour. They got decent seats in the center of the auditorium, Jean sitting at the end of the row with Levi next to him. 

They talked among themselves for a while when Jean realized that Eld was idly thumbing through a program. Jean could see before the play if Armin was in it. 

He leaned forward and asked, “Hey, can I take a look at that?”

Eld handed the program over and responded, “Knock yourself out.”

Jean took the program and tried not to look too anxious as he opened it and flipped to the cast list. His heart skipped a beat almost immediately. He didn’t have to scan long to see Armin Arlert’s name attached to one of the main characters named Davey. 

“Did Mikasa get so many tickets because her friend is in this play?” Jean asked Levi, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

Levi looked at the program and nodded, “I had no idea he was one of the main characters, I just assumed he was in the ensemble.”

There was no way anyone could look at Armin and sanely put him in the background. 

Before Jean could say anything more, the lights went down, hushing the chattering crowd. Jean sat back in his chair, looking at the stage to see a tall and handsome blond man step out onto the stage. 

“Good evening,” the man said in a deep, rumbling voice that commanded the attention of the entire crowd.

Levi gave a quiet, impressed whistle so low that Jean half wondered if he’d imagined it. Jean glanced at his employer in curiosity, but it was too dark to see the expression on his face.

“I’m Erwin Smith, musical director and I’d like to thank you for joining us for the second to last show of Sina College’s Newsies. We would like to remind you to shut off all cellular devices and refrain from taking flash photography during the show. We also ask that you wait to exit the auditorium until the intermission unless there is an emergency. We have characters that use the walkways a few times during the play, so we would like to keep the path clear for everyone’s safety. Other than that, we only ask that you sit back and enjoy the show!”

The crowd clapped and the play began, so did Jean’s mission to pick out Armin in the cast as soon as possible. The first scene didn’t include him, only the main character and another one who used a crutch. 

It wasn’t until the second scene that Armin made his debut. It felt like a breath of fresh air to see him again. Jean felt his heart clench as he took in Armin’s newsboy cap and costume. 

His character didn’t sing a lot at first, mostly talked, but Armin was killing it nonetheless. He'd obviously put a lot of effort into being this character and it really pulled Jean into the play. So much so that he was surprised when Armin started a solo at the beginning of a song called ‘Seize the Day’.

His character was trying to gently rally his friends, singing in a smooth, tenor voice, “ _ Now is the time to seize the day, stare down the odds and seize the day. Minute by minute, that’s how you win it. We will find a way, but let us seize the day _ …”

Jean had been holding his breath as he listened to the somber song as it slowly changed into an upbeat, fast tempo. He was further shocked when Armin moved to the front line of the ensemble and began to dance with the others, escalating to perform flips and jumping splits with a few of the other performers. 

Jean was barely aware that his mouth was hanging open as the song came to an end and Armin did a series of back handsprings all the way across the stage, sticking the landing on the last beat of the song.

“Holy shit,” Jean breathed, clapping furiously with the crowd.

There was one more song before the intermission, then the rest of the play went by quickly. Armin was stellar in the rest of his role and when the play ended, Jean didn’t hold back clapping his hardest and even whistling when Armin took his bows. He deserved it, he was absolutely amazing. 

After the curtains had lowered, Jean considered going backstage to personally congratulate Armin on his performance, but Mikasa and Eren suddenly appeared next to him.

“Hey, Levi,” Mikasa called to her cousin and Levi squeezed past Jean to step out in the walkway so he could talk to them. 

“You weren’t kidding, that was a pretty good play,” Levi said to her.

“They put a lot of effort into their shows here. Armin says that he doesn’t think they’d be half as good without Professor Smith directing. He used to direct Broadway shows,” Mikasa agreed.

“Thank you all for coming, I didn’t expect you all,” a small voice suddenly came from behind Jean.

Jean’s heart pounded, knowing who that sweet voice belonged to. He turned around to see Armin standing behind him, looking like a doll with his newsboy costume and fake dirt smudged all over his face. Jean noted a smudge applied to the tip of Armin's pixie nose that he wished he could thumb away.

“You did an excellent job, Armin, I’m very impressed,” Levi said in a kinder tone than he normally used.

“You sang so well, I loved it!” Mikasa exclaimed, coming over to hug Armin.

Once he let his friend go, Armin shyly glanced at Jean and put his hand out, “Jean, it’s good to see you again. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” Jean replied, shaking Armin’s warm, small hand. 

He wanted to be the one to hug Armin like Mikasa had, but he had to settle for just giving the hand an extra squeeze before pulling away.

“You gonna come back for another tattoo soon?” Jean blurted out, instantly regretted not complimenting Armin on his performance first.

“Uh… probably. I haven’t had the time with all the practices for this,” Armin said, nodding his head towards the stage.

Of course, Jean could have figured that out if he wasn’t stupid. He felt like sliding under the chair in embarrassment.

“Oh yeah, I guess all that singing and dancing didn’t come naturally, you gotta work hard at it,” Jean responded, his tone unintentionally sounding sarcastic.

He was on a roll.

Armin blinked at him, “Oh, well, I already knew how to do both. It just takes a while to coordinate the choreography and memorize lines, you know?”

Levi must have taken pity on Jean and the uncomfortable exchange because suddenly asked, “How did you learn to dance so well? I noticed they only had a couple of the actors doing flips like you were.”

Armin seemed relieved to have a distraction, turning away from Jean to answer, “I have been in dance classes since I was little, I think I started at seven taking ballet…”

Jean faded out of the conversation as he mentally went over what he'd just said to Armin. He couldn’t believe he freaked out and fell back on his sarcastic personality when he meant to tell Armin how wonderfully talented he was. 

Jean rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and was trying to find a smooth way to cut in to apologize when Erwin Smith walked up to the group. He politely interrupted Armin and Levi, saying to his student, “Armin, I just wanted to congratulate you. You did even better than you did last night. I didn’t think that was possible. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Armin said, blushing as eyes glittered with well-deserved pride.

Jean felt a flare of anger inside of him, wishing he’d been the one to make Armin have that expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Armin apologized to Erwin after a moment and gestured to Levi, “This is Levi Ackerman, he’s my friend Mikasa’s cousin.”

Jean watched Erwin turn to Levi. The height difference between them was almost comical, Levi being even shorter than Armin. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Erwin said politely, offering his hand to shake.

Levi didn’t hesitate to shake, saying, “Likewise. You did a phenomenal job directing this play. Armin says you were a director on Broadway?”

Erwin nodded, “Indeed. I went to college for musical theater as a performer, but I discovered my real passion was for directing.”

Erwin and Levi talked back and forth, inadvertently cutting Armin and Jean out of the conversation. Jean noticed Armin looking around as if he were trying to find someone else to talk to so that he didn’t have to be stuck there. Jean had to say something, otherwise he might lose his chance to making a connection.

“Hey,” Jean said to Armin, sidestepping away from the others a bit to feign a private conversation, “You did really great. I’ve never seen a Broadway play before, but I bet you could easily could perform in a Broadway show.”

Armin smiled shyly, “Thanks, I guess.”

Jean couldn’t let his normal stupidity slip through, he had to be pleasant, “Are you in school for musical theater, or…”

“I’m just a music major, this experience has been fun but I don’t think I could do it all the time. It’s exhausting,” Armin replied, laughing softly as he took the newsboy cap off his head.

“What are you wanting to do with a music major?” Jean asked, tilting his head.

“I want to be a singer-songwriter,” Armin’s face lit up in a way that made Jean’s stomach flip pleasantly, “Someone could leave me in a room for a week to write and record songs and I wouldn’t care, I’d be in heaven.”

“I bet you’d be amazing at it. Hell, I’d listen to you. You’ve got a really nice voice,” Jean said, smiling down at Armin.

“I could write terrible songs, you don’t know,” Armin snorted, crossing his arms with a sassy smirk on his face.

The timid person that Armin seemed to be melted away slightly through the playful attitude. Jean could see a spark there and he longed to get a closer look.

“Only one way to find out, have you recorded any songs that you’ve written?” Jean asked.

Armin’s cheeks reddened and he looked away, “Well, I… um, I have. I just…”

“I don’t have to listen to them here… maybe you could send them to me?” Jean suggested, pulling out his phone from his pocket, working up to asking Armin for his number.

Armin bit his lip, looking down at the chair in front of him, saying nothing. Jean wondered why he seemed so unsure of himself. That spark disappeared as quickly as it appeared, but Jean planned to bring it back. 

“How about this, I can put my number in your phone and you can decide later on if you want to send me any? That way the pressure is off,” Jean offered, putting his phone away.

Armin hesitated only a moment before reaching to get his phone out of his own pocket. He unlocked it, tapped the screen a couple times, then handed it to Jean.

It would be hard waiting on Armin to decide if he wanted to reach out to him or not. Not only would he have to decide if he wanted to share his music, but Armin would also need to choose if he wanted to have further contact with Jean.

Jean could only hope that his few stupid comments earlier wouldn’t drive Armin away forever.

Jean entered his name and number and handed it back, saying, “I hope to hear from you soon.”

Armin looked up at him for a long moment before nodding. Jean smiled at him, then looked back and saw that Erwin and Levi had disappeared.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Jean questioned, rotating in a circle to scan the nearly empty auditorium.

They were nowhere to be seen.

Jean shrugged and turned back to Armin, disappointed to see that he’d slipped away. 

He prayed that he’d done something right and that he would hear from Armin soon.

-x-

The following day, only Levi and Jean were on the scheduled to work for a few hours. The studio only took a couple appointments on Sundays and no more than two artists were scheduled, rotating week to week. 

When he arrived at the studio, Jean was surprised to see that he’d gotten there earlier than his employer. He unlocked the shop doors and turned on the ‘open’ sign, setting his bag down by the front desk. 

He slipped into the desk’s chair, waking up the computer to refresh himself on that day’s clients when he heard the door open. 

Jean looked up, eyes widening in shock to see Levi wearing the same fancy clothes as the night before, looking a little out of sorts. His shirt wasn't tucked and his usual styled undercut was hanging loosely around his forehead.

“Levi?” Jean questioned in surprise, not sure what to say.

“I hope you started the coffee already,” Levi grunted, walking over to Jean.

"No, I just got here…” Jean answered, tilting his head, “Are you all right?”

It wasn’t until Levi shot him an irritated look did Jean see the bags under his employer’s eyes. Jean had his suspicions about what happened. He wasn’t the type to mince words, so he asked, “Did you go home with that professor last night?”

Levi’s angular eyes widened slightly, jaw clenching as he looked over Jean’s shoulder to the computer, “Who do we have today?”

“You totally did,” Jean confirmed, smirking, “Wow, I didn’t peg you as that type of guy! Good for you.”

“Calm down, barely anything happened,” Levi grunted, walking towards the break room, most likely in an attempt to get away from Jean.

“You didn’t get laid?” Jean teased, leaning back in the chair to watch Levi leave.

Levi paused at the break room door, looking over his shoulder, “...It’s none of your business.”

Jean laughed quietly as Levi went through the doorway. Levi was trying to be nonchalant, but it was obvious what happened. This type of thing must not have happened to him very often, he wasn't good at hiding his 'walk of shame'.

“Don’t be shy, Levi, I was just wondering!” Jean joked in a voice loud enough to be heard in the other room. 

“Fuck off,” Levi called back shortly.

Jean chuckled, pausing when he heard his phone chime softly. He picked it up and saw an unknown number had texted him. 

Jean sucked in a breath as he opened the text that read, “ **Hello Jean, it’s Armin Arlert. I really would like to show you my music, but there’s a few I’d like you to listen to and I feel like that would be too much to send over the phone. Would you like to meet for coffee next weekend and I can bring my laptop to let you listen? I’m free Saturday, if you are** **_._ ”**

Jean couldn’t believe his eyes. He had to put down his phone for a moment to calm himself. Not only was Armin going to let him listen to his own work, but he wanted to do it in person! If it went well, perhaps Jean could ask Armin on an actual date? 

Jean was normally a pretty even keeled man, but he couldn’t help feeling almost giddy as he texted back, “ **Sounds great, I’m free on Saturday too. Just tell me when and where** _. _ ”

Armin texted back almost right away, “ **Eleven o’clock at The Coffee Bean by Sina’s campus okay?** ”

Jean grinned stupidly at his phone as he typed back, “ **I’ll be there :)** ”


End file.
